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Thursday, March 24, 2005


some of you may be wondering about the name of this blog. well, i'll tell you all about it.

many, many years ago, my great-great-great-great grandfather was Baron Heinrich Von Oysterschnauten. he wasn't a good land manager, unfortunately, and ended up bankrupting his barony via schnapps, gambling and loose women.

having nowhere else to go, his land and all but a few meager possessions taken and sold to pay his debts, he stowed away on a ship bound for America. in order to assimilate once he arrived at Ellis Island, he changed his name. to Hank Von Oysterschnauten.

he studied hard to learn English as he worked a series of back-breaking menial jobs, saved his money, and eventually became a wealthy sausage merchant, in the meantime marrying and producing 5 children. he then pissed it all away via whiskey, gambling, and loose women.

his children, and their children, gradually Anglicised the Von Oysterschnauten name until it became what it is today.

and if you believe that, i have a bridge you might be interested in buying. cheap.

actually, all kidding aside, i got the name from a website i found in a comment posted by Tom in a post on basil's blog on March 12. it's a band name generator for people who can't think of a name for their band, or are too lazy, or something. anyhoo, i played with it for a while, and the name oystersnout came up. i chuckled at the thought of what an oyster's snout might look like, snickered at the idea of what a promo poster for the band might have on it, and laughed my pinkytoe off at the mental picture of me, painted and dressed like an 80's glam rocker with 3 or 4 others painted and dressed in a similar way.

i thought, "dude! if i ever had a band i would definitely name it oystersnout!" but i can't sing to save my life, and nearly 2 years of guitar lessons in my younger days did nothing but let me know that i couldn't play guitar either.

so, when basil put out the call to arms for the Great Blog War, i felt compelled to finally start a blog, and decided that a name like oystersnout should not be wasted by my lack of musical ability.

now you know.

that's all for now!

update: i forgot to mention that the next funniest one (in my opinion) was "A Fistful of Tapirs"....go ahead and think whatever you want....but keep the comments clean. thanks.