sorry for the lack of headlines last night. i was worn out from work and a few night's worth of insomnia, and had a tough time finding anything to be funny.
i hope that this offering makes up for it.
US Caps Chinese Textile Imports
Chinese Textiles Respond With a Drive-By
2 Giants Agree to Cross-License Some Patents
Bonds, Santiago Working On Creating New Steroids
Apple gives identity thieves a way in
Trying to keep up with Microsoft
IBM Embraces Firefox For Web Browsing
Firefox Says "Hey, Lady, Just Doing My Job"
Robots master the art of reproduction
Geeks thrilled at the thought of android wives
PSU grad chooses integrity over cash
Must not be a Democrat
Motions on witnesses loom in Jackson case
Moves on victims caused case
Dave Chappelle Says He's Not Crazy
Little Green Men He Tells This To Agree
Walking to help halt AIDS
Walking away from gay bars
Trampoline Injuries Soar
And Fall. And Soar. And Fall. And...
Brain-injury case doctor hearing pleas for help
"Don't kill me" is one of most popular pleas
Weiner not part of Dems' no-bash movement
"Weiner-bashing" latest craze in San Francisco nightclubs
Microsoft, Sun announce joint authentication system
Will let you know if your dealer ripped you off with oregano-filled doobies
(beep! boop! beep! that's good stuff, dude!)
that's the news for today! feel free to leave a comment telling me that i'm the funniest guy in the world.
or, just be honest. i like that better anyway.