Ahhh, The Weekend Is Over! or, Headline News Resumes!

while most Americans view Memorial Day Weekend as a time to have fun with your families, and remember the sacrifices of our fallen soldiers in many different wars, in the restaurant industry it means that Tourist Season has officially begun.

why do they call it Tourist Season and not issue tags? c'mon, just three a year....no does...

aw, heck. nothing i can do about it, so i might as well just get over it and give my attention to all those headlines that are just crying out for the funny.

France shatters EU unity

Then surrenders

EU, US moves to limit China textile exports have no basis: Bo

After losing on American Idol, Bice turns to economics to make a living

Taking baton from Bolton, Cheney slams North Korean leader

Wins match, but is later disqualified for using baton

Wheldon becomes first Englishman in 39 years to win Indy 500

But, he drove on the wrong side of the track

Runs, Hits and an Era

no joke, but i would bet that basil would appreciate this article. as would all fans of the game.

Patrick Eyes Piece of History

Left Unsatisfied by Spongebob, Starfish Attempts to Woo Bugs Bunny

FDA Probes Vision Loss in Viagra Users

FDA says "If Love is Blind, Lust Can Be Too"

Australian scientists stunned by crab invasion

Say: "We shouldn't have gone to that brothel in Perth after the Star Trek convention after all"

In River of Many Aliens, Snakehead Looms as Threat

Thus Begins Star Wars VII. i hope Jar-Jar isn't in it

Researchers Use Maps to Research Obesity

Michael Moore Is So Fat that He Needs a Cartographer Instead of a Dietician

Where the elephants roam

Watch your step, or you'll be in deep s**t


well, folks, this concludes tonight's Headline News post.

i hope you enjoyed it.

feel free to tell me how much you enjoyed it in the comments.

thanks!