Two Weeks!

yes, folks, it's been two whole weeks since i have smoked. i thank everyone for their support, all the kind words, encouragement, and patience for my not posting much lately.

even now, after 14 days, i find myself reaching for the pack and lighter when i sit down in front of the computer, but the urges to light up have been growing weaker on a daily basis.

i've noticed a decrease in coughing attacks, and an increase in energy, not to mention the fact that food is a bit more flavorful lately.

and, i don't stink like a dirty ashtray any more.

so, i have 14 more days on the step 1 patch, 14 on step 2, and 14 on step 3 until i'm done with nicotine.

good riddance to bad poison!

thanks again, y'all.

Headlines 6-28-05

Bush says Iraq war worth it, cites bin Laden

Bin Laden tears up citation, claims Bush isn't a police officer

Sunnis feel full force of Lightning strike

The Almighty decides to put in His Opinion on Islam

Friend, Associates Remember John Walton

"Yep, John Boy Was A Mighty Good Feller"

Today at Wimbledon

A Bunch of Rich People Played Tennis

Voices of Piglet, Tigger Die in Same Week

Severe Laryngitis is Spreading Throughout the Hundred-Acre Woods

Viagra does not increase the risk of blindness says Pfizer

Unless you use it while alone

Cancer risk linked to radiation exposure -study

Study also finds that the Pope wears a funny hat

Most U.S. Doctors Religious, Survey Finds

Survey Also Finds That Most U.S. Doctors Pray That They Won't Be Sued For Malpractice

Sharon vows to stop 'wild behavior' of pullout foes

Right after she stops 'wild behavior' of Ozzy

AMD sues rival Intel over 'monopoly abuses'

AMD claims Intel always took the car, and made them be the dog or the shoe

Group selects France as site of experimental fusion reactor

Group says "Well, if the experiment goes bad, no big loss"


well, folks, that's the news for now. i apologize once again for not posting more often lately, but i have to get over this nasty habit.

for more headline humor, visit basil, Moe, Dane and The Capitalist's sites. they have some good stuff, too.

thanks!

Quitting Update 6-24-05

the last few days have been tough, so i haven't been posting, or even in front of the computer much....gotta control the trigger situations, makes it a little easier.

but i haven't given in! ten days without a smoke!

and, i found a cool extension for Firefox, called Quitomzilla...just enter in the day, date, and hour that you quit, how many cigarettes you smoked, and how much the cost per pack, and it keeps track of smokes not smoked, money not spent on smoking, and time since you quit.

and, gives you the option to paste the info into emails, blog posts, etc with one click...like this:

I haven't smoked for 1 week, 3 days and 25 minutes, saving 250.43 cigarettes and $68.87 .

anyway, hope to be back to posting more frequently sometime soon!

thanks.

Headline News 6-21-05

Bush to visit Vietnam

Kerry says "I served in Vietnam!"

Missing Utah Scout found alive

Earns 'Wilderness Survival' merit badge, fails 'Orienteering' badge requirements

Deadbeat Dad Shot In Seattle Courthouse

Single Moms Cheer

Krispy discharges executives

Krusty discharges phlegm

Microsoft researchers develop new file-sharing system

Don't realize that the only thing that can be legally shared any more is open-source software

Corgan wants to reseed Pumpkins

BitTorrent users are uninterested in downloading old, crappy music

Gene keeps mums fertile

And, his famous tongue keeps them happy

Infertility in Europe to double in 10 years

Let's hope France leads the league....

Global Commercial Whaling Ban Upheld

A Collective Sigh of Relief is Heard from Moore, O'Donnell, and Winfrey's Blowholes

well, that's all for now!

see y'all tomorrow!

Helping Out A Friend

all the sauces that i've mentioned so far and will mention in the future (as i try them myself, that is) can be purchased here, or most may be ordered from their website, if one exists.

if you like to cook, or know somebody who does, please check out the huge line of products carried by this little gourmet store! and, as an added bonus, they'll ship nationwide! for a shipping and handling charge, of course.

many of the fine products are made right here in Northern California, and the herb and spice blends are from Penzey's Spice Co., not CA but very good nonetheless. i like the Bangkok blend, as well as the Jerk Chicken and the Jerk Pork blends.

and the selection of hot, hot, hot sauces is quite impressive.

if you order something, tell 'em moehawk sent ya!

that's all for now!

One Week!

well, it's been a whole week smoke-free now.

must say, it's quite a bit easier than i thought it would be, i just have to recognize what my triggers are, like walking outside, sitting in front of the computer, driving, etc., and be prepared to deal with more urges to light up at those times.

and rub that patch extra hard in the hopes that it will get more nicotine into me!

hmmm....i think i'll celebrate with a big steak for dinner...

that's all for now!

Life Is Good

ah, yes. a day off with the 4 "B's"...

Baseball, Beer, and Beef on the Barbecue....

life is indeed good!

must go flip steak...

that's all for now!

UPDATE

steak was perfect...still mooing, but not very much..

i used one of the sauces that i got for my birthday, the Hot Stroh Ranch Smoky Jalapeno Honey Sauce

moehawk says...mighty good. i recommend it.

now break out the credit cards, order a bunch of it, and support my little corner of the world!

thanks.

that is all!

Headline News 6-19-05

North Korea's Kim says might give up missiles

Is trying to find Nuke-O-Derm patches to make it easier to quit

puns, Dane? i am the King of bad puns....heh!

European press review

European press is found to be just as anti-American as American press

Credit card holders exposed to fraud

As if high interest rates, huge late fees, overdraft charges and being in debt up to your pinkytoe weren't bad enough

Google to take on Paypal

Most people's money is on Paypal to win

Bottle attack on DiCaprio

Is excuse he gives for not showing up to work because he had a hangover

King Tut is back in the US to wow audiences

Martin's latest tour comes home

Now when he was a young man, he never thought he'd see
People stand in line to see the boy King
sorry if you have the song stuck in your head again....hee hee heeeee!

Another Quake Hits Off California Coast

moehawk considers moving to Nevada...nice, geologically stable Nevada....

Janet suffers humour bypass

Nowhere near as entertaining as her 'Wardrobe Malfunction'

Ochoa triumphs with birdie binge

Is later seen vomiting feathers, denies having triumph disorder

Herbie: Fully Loaded

Alternate Title: Cheech and Chong Meet The Love Bug

Sen. Robert C. Byrd Laments KKK Connection

Wishes Klan was still as powerful as it was in the 60's

Israel apologizes to U.S. over China arms sale

Uh, Sorry, dude, but we needed the shekels....and all we got was a bunch of lousy yuan....

yes, Moe, bad headline rule has been called by the ump....

Groups Gather for Human Sexuality Summit

PC Term For a Massive Orgy

Burners' Bummer

Dude, we're out of weed.

S.C. Officials Investigate Bird Deaths

All Residents of Columbia, S.C. Should Avoid "Chicken Sammiches" Unless You Trust Your Chef....


well, on that one, i'm out of here.

hope you all enjoyed my funny, and as always, let me know!

and for more headline humor, visit basil, Moe, Dane and The Capitalist's sites. they have some good stuff, too.

thanks!

Quitting Update 6-19-05

yesterday was a little easier. it's usually not that rough during the day, and while i'm at work, but after work is a different story.

i stayed away from the computer, that helped a little, but it still took longer than usual to get to sleep. i watched the tube till about 4 am, went to sleep finally.

sometime during the night, my patch fell off. most likely a result of the tossing and turning...woke up dying for a smoke, found the patch, stuck it back on with duct tape.

felt a little better about half an hour later.

today was actually pretty easy, just a few cravings at the usual times, like whenever i walked out of a building, CA, y'know. can't smoke anywhere indoors here except your own house...

already duct-taped today's patch on. don't want to take any chances....

doing ok now, enough to do a few headlines, maybe more than a few, if i can find any funny ones....

that's all for now!

3 Months!

yes, it's my 3 month blogoversary.

not as important as the 1 year mark, but still important in the fact that i'm no longer a 'new' blogger! i'm a grown-up now!

YAY!!!! WOO-HOO!!!!

that is all.

Quitting Update

last night was rough. i was awake for most of it, tossing and turning and craving a smoke, and during the few bits of sleep i got, i dreamed of smoking. cigars, cigarettes, a pipe, everything.

it sucked.

work sucked even more, trying to be alert after maybe 3 hours of broken sleep...and in my job, i have lots of hot things and lots of sharp things to worry about...not to mention making the food taste good while trying not to injure myself.

good thing i'm an insomniac already, and am used to working with little to no sleep.

today seemed to be easier as far as the cravings went, hope tonight isn't a repeat of last night.

i'll find out soon.

Headlines 6-17-05

Tom Hanks to do 'Deep Throat'

Will find his old 'Bosom Buddies' wardrobe to look more like Linda Lovelace

Jackson plans lavish party to thank his supporters

Party is BYOB...Bring Your Own Boy

For a young child, home can be a dangerous place

Especially if it is Michael Jackson's home

At least 200 million Chinese to be obese in 10 years

That's because every time they eat, they're hungry again an hour later

New law requires airlines to disclose information on pet deaths

"Well, Ma'am, before your precious little Fido froze to death in the unpressurized cargo hold, he exploded, sending dog guts flying ten feet..."

St. Paul, Ace subpoenaed by prosecutors

Gene and Peter won't comment on Paul's self-beatification

Central America Is Holding Its Breath

Will Still Have To Eat Vegetables Before Getting Dessert

Calif. Scientists Plan to Kill Barred Owls

Loggers Paint Bars Onto Spotted Owls, Get Ready For a Big Timber Harvest Next Year

S.Africa opposes Japan's plan to expand whale hunt

Moore, O'Donnell also oppose Japanese plan


wel, folks, that's the news for tonight. for more headline humor, be sure to visit basil, Moe, Dane and The Capitalist's sites.

thanks!

Nicotine Starved Headlines 6-17-05

Motown massacre

Smokey swears he's innocent

Iranians ready to choose a new president

Yes, we would still like for John Kerry to be the President of your bad-ass nation that has lots of weapons that we would not like to be pointed at us....

Police question hostage gunmen

"Dude, is that a real AK-74? Kewl! where'd you get that?"

Police fear molestation of hundreds of children

Jackson was Acquitted

Dell: show us the Apple love

i may be a computer enthusiast, but i don't want to see that. not even on PodCast....

Giants hammer Twins bullpen for win

Dude, i think that's actually two in a row for the 'Ants! no joke, the Giants are the joke....

yes, i am a Giants fan. therefore, i am entitled to piss and moan, bitch, whine, scream, or yell about how bad that the Giants have been doing, as long as i still root for them the next game.

GO GIANTS!

thanks, everyone, especially for putting up with my withdrawls.

see y'all manana!

Thanks For All The Support!

in my effort to quit smoking, many of my fans have given their support.

unfortunately for all of us, i have the most urges to smoke while i'm sitting in front of my computer.

i thought about it today, while i was at work, and i realized that i smoked about 1/3 to 1/2 of my pack and a half per day while sitting in front of my computer at home.

well, it takes a bit of time to scour the world for news headlines worth making funny out of...

and, living in California, i can't smoke anywhere other than in my house in front of my f@#$%^g computer....couldn't, i meant...

so, if i blog lightly in the next few weeks, i hope you understand. it isn't because i don't like to entertain you by making up funny punchlines to badly written headlines. it isn't even because my little bro got me a cool new video game for my birthday and i'm too busy for blogging. i'll never be too busy to blog.

today was a rough one for the whole smoke-free thing. stressful night at work, but i think i'm over tonight's stress enough for the patch to keep doing it's job.

them nicotine fits only last about a half-minute, anyway...for now....

heh!...i'm stronger than that!

thanks again for the support!

I Picked The Wrong Day To Quit Smoking...6-14-05

Tsunami Warning after California Quake

moehawk heads for high ground

but, as long as i have the post open, i might as well toss in a few more!

Jackson cleared, but scars remain

On the psyches of all his victims

Bowel Cancer Linked to Red and Processed Meat

Red and Processed Meat evolved to 'Large Mammal'

Tsunami watch canceled on West Coast

Whew! *goes to put rowboat back in garage*

Jet Airways to purchase aircraft

Guess you can't call your company something like "Jet Airways" until you buy a plane or two...

The fastest man ever

Was Jackson leaving courthouse, just in case they read the verdict wrong

Batman and Freud

I'll Wait For the Video Release...


well, that's the headlines for tonight, i apologize for the brevity.

i'm waiting for the aftershocks to start!

for more headline goodness, or occasionally badness, check out basil's, Moe's,, Dane's and The Capitalist's sites.

thanks!

moehawk Kicks Butts

i was supposed to tell you all about the last gift from Mom.

she bought me the full 2 month nicotine patch system.

after years of smoking 1 to 1 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day, i'm ready to quit. or, at least i feel that i am.

i guess we'll all find out. at 1:45 pm today, i smoked my last American Spirit, crushed it out underfoot, and stuck the first patch on. seems to be working so far.

AAAAARRRRGH! SOMEONE GIVE ME A SMOKE!!!!!!!

just kidding. not too bad right now. seems i get a mild urge to light up about every ten minutes, goes away in about 30 seconds.

hope it stays this easy. somehow, i doubt it will.

i'll let everyone know!

thanks, that is all.

It's That Time Again...

Saddam grilled over 1982 killings

1982 killings expected to give Saddam "a unique flavor, smoky with a hint of genocide"

Vatican flexes muscle in Italy

Men in Italian Gym give Vatican their phone numbers

Roger Waters Reunites with Pink Floyd for Live 8

Concert Promoter Manages to Convince Waters, Gilmore That It's Just a Flashback

Tyson can't beat Father Time

Or Any Prizefighters, Either

Destiny's Child Announces Split

Now Known As "Destiny's Formerly Conjoined Twins"

Obesity, smoking accelerate ageing

Now, if we could just get Moore and O'Donnell to light up, they might die of old age early...

Calcium, vitamin D combat premenstrual ills-study

In related news, thousands of women admitted to hospitals for choking after being force-fed vitamin-enriched whole milk by husbands

Umpire calls bad headline rule...

N.C. Surgeons Unwittingly Used Dirty Tools

Yet Another 'Make Up A Joke In The Comments' Headline...

Keep it relatively clean, please. Young eyes may be reading....

Italians stay at home for fertility referendum

Prefer to keep fertility matters in the bedroom

First impressions of the A380: an imposing beast

With seven heads, and ten horns...wait, i already used that one...

'Rocky' Earth-Like Planet Discovered

Stallone thrilled

No 'freedom' on MSN in China?
Microsoft cooperates with Beijing's censorship of forbidden words

Microsoft would like to censor words like 'open source', 'Linux' here in America

Nokia reaching out and touching Apple, other partners

Sexual Harrassment suit filed against Nokia

Growing Old Is Hard to Do

No, It Isn't. All You Have to Do is Wake Up Every Morning


well, on that note, just having had a birthday recently, i'll let you get on with your lives.

assuming that you have one, since you are reading my blog after all!

for more headline funny, please visit basil's, Moe's, and Dane's sites.

and, a new headline junkie, The Capitalist, has found his voice...

thanks, y'all!

My Birthday

it was a good one, even though i had to work. i suppose i could have asked for the day off, but in a small restaurant like the one i work in, there is usually not a surplus of people to work a busy Saturday night, and i personally don't like to burden my co-workers with the extra stress of having one less person working the line than usual on any busy night. so, i worked.

before work, i had a nice lunch with my parents, grandma stopped by the restaurant on her way to work to say "Happy Birthday" and give me my present (two bags of different flavors of wood smoking-chips for my barbecue, and some much-needed socks).

Thanks Grandma!

from mom, three cool t-shirts, one tie-dye, one with a motorcycle and an American Flag, and one with a weber barbecue and the logo 'Grill Sergeant'...would be even funnier if i had military experience, but still funny. also, an assortment of spicy and garlic-y marinades and sauces from our local gourmet foodstuffs store. and, one more gift, but i'll tell you about that one tomorrow.

Thanks, Mom!

from my step-dad, a brand new remanufactured alternator for my beat-up, ugly but faithful little pickup truck. with a bit of help installing it...got that one a week early, right when i needed it...

Thanks, Harold!

from my boss, a six-pack of different chicken wing sauces from Wing-Time. i'm going to try the 'hot' one tonight, see if it lives up to the title. if not, there's the 'super hot' to try tomorrow...

Thanks, Boss!

and, last but certainly not least, kind words from fellow bloggers and readers.

Thanks Again, Everyone!

notice that i haven't said how old i am...heh!

UPDATE

wing sauce is mighty good.

More Headline News 6-12-05

Howard Dean Renews Attacks on Republicans

His Battle Cry is "YEEEEAAAAAARRRRGH!"

18 nations' debt goes away

Lucky bastages...

Should Patriot Act provisions be expanded?

Terrorists around the world say "Hell, No!"

White House snubs Crowe

Make your own joke in the comments.

"MacGyver" Boss Dies

Anderson Tries To Bring Him Back To Life With a Swiss Army Knife, a Piece of Chewing Gum, and the Batteries From His Walkman, Fails

Pistons head home with Ginobili on their mind

And Gin and Tonic on their breath

The medical pot hysteria

The title "Reefer Madness" was already taken

N.J. Men Take to Trees in Climbing Tourney

N. CA Men Just Hug Trees

German city prepares "sex huts" ahead of World Cup

Expected to do more business than Pizza Huts

Senate May Weigh Climate in Energy Bill

If They Can Figure Out How to Build the Scale

144 Arrested At Huge Cockfight

Ron Jeremy, Tommy Lee Among Arrestees


well, that's the news for now. be sure to visit basil's, Moe's, and Dane's sites for more headline funny!

thanks!

Today Is My Birthday!

or, what's left of it. i had to work. :(

but, Yay anyway!

It's Headline News Time Again!

sorry about missing a day of funny headlines. i started a download of SuSe Linux 9.3 to play with on my old computer yesterday, a 3+ gig download, and it is taking up so much bandwidth that my cable connection is slower than dial-up.

way slower.

so, i paused the Linux download tonight to bring you a few funny headlines.

Gogel hits Booz hard

Search Engine goes out to the bar with reporter that wrote this headline

Painkillers link to heart attacks

Heart attacks evolve in the TTLB Ecosystem

2nd Mad Cow Possible; U.S. Sees 'No Risk'

Rosie look-alike not expected to do anything important

Howard Dean's missing funny bone

Turns up in a bowl of fast-food chili

Counting on Lady Luck

Michael Jackson's Boy Luck has run out

Microsoft offers beta of Adobe rival

Will call it MudBrick

Rusty the clown

Is being sued by Krusty

The Gitmo Shuffle

Not As Entertaining As "The Curly Shuffle" (Hey Moe!...Hey Moe!)

now you all have the song stuck in your head, don't you?

nyuck nyuck nyuck!


well, back to the Linux...see y'all manana!

Yay! It's Support a Young Blogger Day!

no, really. i didn't just make that up.

ok, i did. you caught me on that one.

but, i do want all you folks to go and visit Jennifer's Musings, because she's a smart kid that is not only intelligent and articulate, but also is on the 'right' side...

read her stuff...not just the last few posts, but the ones before that, the posts that made me think "Wow. if all kids thought this way, the world would be a better place."

the other posts are about being a kid. nothing wrong with being what you are....:)

if the future rests in the hands of the youth, i hope that when she grows up, she is in the position to help shape that future.

anyways, stop by her site, say some kind words, encourage her.

and when she gets Blogrolling set up, blogroll her!

thanks!

UPDATE

her big sister has a blog too, and also writes some good stuff. check it out!

thanks again!

Headlines 6-08-05

Eyes on Congress for Medical Marijuana Relief

Half-Closed, Very Bloodshot Eyes

Two U.S. pilots convicted of trying to fly while drunk

Flapping their arms and making airplane noises while staggering down the runway gave them away

Body Parts From Jet Hit a Long Island Home

Homeowner Says It Was Even Worse Than Frozen Sewage

Advani pulled a Congress on BJP

BJP pulled a .45...guess who won?

Bush won't help Turkey with Kurds

Will Help Turkey with Whey

Australian Police Says Powder in Embassy Packages `Harmless'

Police Tested it on Ozzy, and He Didn't Seem Any More Incoherent Than Before

Woodward does Washington

Not expected to be as popular as 'Debbie does Dallas'

Terrorism suspects rounded up near Sacramento

Suspects glad that The Governator didn't do it in person

What If the British Vote No?

They'll Vote However We Tell Them To....

Chip Wars: Apple & IBM

And I Thought the Cola Wars Were Bad Enough...

Hydrocarbon volcano discovered on Titan

Bush Blamed

The 'old' Tyson gets in his licks

And a bite or two


well, on that bad joke, i'll let you get back to work, or surfing the net, or whatever it is that you do after you read my headlines.

if you're going to read other blogs, i suggest you go and visit basil's, Moe's, and Dane's sites. good funny.

that is all.

Headlines 6-06-05

Jackson at hospital again, for back pain

Says it hurts when he bends over...no wait, that's next week's news.

User of Medical Marijuana Says She'll Continue to Fight

Against What, She Can't Quite Remember

US: Clinton defends Deep Throat, Kissinger critical

Clinton Likes Old-School Porn, Kissinger Prefers New Stuff

Microsoft aims at the BlackBerry market

Plans to computerize fruit have organic farmers worried

Cranberry juice may fight viruses, study finds

Study also urges dumb people to not pour juice into their computers

N.C. School Race Undecided After 7 Months

Them Kids Run Mighty Slow

Experts Gather to Discuss Antarctic Issues

Agree That It Is Very Cold Down There

Study Looks at Yellowstone Roads, Bison

Study Finally Identifies Smelly Substance Covering Yellowstone Roads

Brazil suspends logging permits in deforested Amazon state

Lack of trees to cut cited

California botanists find rare grass species not seen since 1912

After smoking it, California botanists proclaim it to be "primo, dude!"

Semifinalists Named in Desert Robot Race

R2D2 in Lead, C3PO a Distant Second

Corporations Entering World of Blogs

Then Firing Employees Found to be Blogging About Them

'Cinderella Man' in fighting form at box office

As is it's star in hotel lobby

Iran sends rare Bacon painting to Britain

Britons boil and eat it, then exclaim "mmmm, Bacon"


well, that's the news for tonight! for more headline humor, check out basil, Moe, and Dane.

thanks for stopping by!

New Headline Funny! 6-05-05

Dean: West Fertile Ground for Democrats

However, Democrats are Afraid of Screwing the Environment

Taiwan test fires 1st cruise missile

Tom is proud to have new Taiwanese missile named after him, hopes it isn't a "bomb"

Teeter-totter job growth

"Power Lunches" are giving way to "Power Recesses"

Wal-Mart Moving Upscale

Will Raise Prices on Goods Made by Children in 3rd World Countries to Compete With Kmart, Martha Stewart


"Cinderella Man" Takes Manhattan

Looks To Take Over San Francisco Next

'Breakfast Club' Cast Reunites on MTV

Now call themselves the 'Supper Club'


Cole points finger at Dein

Says "He's the one that had the bean burrito for lunch, not me!"


High voltage power lines could cause leukemia: Study

Study also admits electrocution is another danger of high-voltage power lines

A Good Laugh May Help Shed Extra Weight

Yet another reason to visit my site! (and basil's, Moe's, and Dane's sites as well.)


and that concludes tonight's headlines.

sorry for the short post, but tourist season has begun in my little town, so i'm worn out from work.

see y'all tomorrow!

Heh. Indeed.

just checking my sitemeter, and i'm #71 in some poor, horny pervert's search for Jaime Lynn Spears.

my "recipe" for Crumpets during the Great Blog War....

funny stuff! especially thinking about how someone had to check out 70 other sites before mine trying to find what he was looking for, and was disappointed yet again.

heh!

ACK!!!! Memes Suck!

unlike the Dodger-lovin' Thong Pirate, i hate memes.

i tend to ignore them until they go away, unless they are about something really nasty like a turd in a punchbowl or such. that can be funny.

but Teach tagged me with the music one, and just because i like music, i'll play along.

The last CD I bought was:
believe it or not, it was KISS with Symphony. i grew up listening to KISS blasting through the wall between my bedroom and my older brother's bedroom, and i guess it kinda grew on me. like a fungus.

the CD was about what you might expect a CD of KISS playing with an Australian Symphony Orchestra might sound like. it sucked.

Song (CD) playing right now:
none. i usually don't listen to music while i'm blogging. it tends to distact me from the more important job, which is bringing the funny headlines to you, my loyal readers.

Five songs that I listen to a lot or that mean alot to me:
well, i have a lot of the same musical tastes as the Scurvy Dog that tagged me with this meme.

Pink Floyd is always good. i like "Not Now John" from "the Final Cut"

1812? i have the Telarc version, one of the first DDD recordings , recorded in Ohio in some university, features digitally recorded cannons that can shred speakers if you don't have the bass set up to handle it. very good.

i also like "The Four Seasons" by Vivaldi. "Spring" is the best, is the Metal of Classical....

speaking of Metal, early Metallica, Sabbath with Ozzy, and post-Sabbath Dio can always float my galleon, to make a pirate reference...so many songs, hard to name just one.

all-time favorite? "Break On Through" by Jim. "All Along The Watchtower" by Bob, recorded by Jimi, is second.

as i dislike memes, i will not tag. should you choose to participate, go for it!

track back to me, so i can enjoy the traffic!

Headline Funny for 6-04-05

Israel uses sound technology to disperse riot

Played Cyndi Lauper, Madonna cds at full blast until rioters got disgusted and left

Will Webmasters Move to .xxx?

Many Porn Enthusiasts Hope So

Red Hat Frees Fedora to the Fedora Foundation

Fedora is Happy to be Released by It's Evil Communist Captors, Thanks Foundation for Help

This week in Microsoft

More buggy, unsecure software is being created

T. Rex Specimen's Leg Bones Show Gender, Link to Birds

Scientists Now Believe Male T-Rexes Would Say "Look At The Legs On That Chickadee"

Now it's in the jurors' hands

Michael Jackson wishes it were still in his hand

Britney writes poem about honeymoon

Plans to release it along with honeymoon video

Scientists put trust in a bottle

Brewers have been putting beauty in a bottle for centuries

Test vaccine eases shingles pain: Merck

Shingles say that they barely even noticed that they were being nailed onto a roof, thank Merck

U.S. Confirms Gitmo Soldier Kicked Quran

Soldier Credits Quran Patches for Helping Him Give Up Habit

AP: Intelligence Sees Terrorists in Iran

Non-Intelligent Call Them "Future Insurgents"

Fatah gunmen block Gaza road to Egyptian border

Skinnyah gunmen were not able to block road

Jackson jurors begin weighing fate of pop star

Whatever the verdict is, someone will soon be having sex with a man against their will

New, smaller post-referendum French government gets to work

Top items on their agenda: Find new ways to surrender, and smell worse than ever before

Heat Puts Hurt on Pistons

Improperly Cooled Engine Nearly Explodes

Naming of Cox to SEC Gets Mixed Reception

SEC likes "Mr. Happy", "John Henry", but balks at "Captain Winky" and "The Amazing Trouser Trout"

bad headline rule has been called by the ump.

Dodgers Hit New Low

Just When I Thought They Couldn't Get Any Lower.....

Why Americans are on the road again

Canada just opened it's borders to Liberals

Restaurant Serves Food in Toilet Bowls

Patrons Say "That's Some Good S**t"
or
In This Fast-Paced World, Restauranteur Seeks to Eliminate One Step In the Dining Experience (bad pun intended, btw!)


well, that's the news for tonight! for more headline humor, check out basil, Moe, and Dane.

that is all.

Thanks For Putting Up With Me...

yes, i was bummed about my truck breaking down. shiznit happens. i'm over it.

however, all this walking to work stuff might endanger my TTLB status.

there's no category for Mid-sized Mammals... heh!

in other, better news...Headlines are back!

this post will now self-destruct in 10...9...8...7...BOOM!

dang.

Headline News....6-02-05

'Deep Throat' Revealed

As if Linda Lovelace had anything left to reveal

Pearland boy gets another shot at bee

Bee dodges BB again

Spitzer telescope witnesses massive stars' birth: NASA

Spitzer invents telescope that can look into the past, sees birth of O'Donnell

Slater denies sexual abuse charge

Hopes that Jackson trial ends soon, needs lawyer with no scruples

Snoop Accused of Show Smackdown

Defense says: "He was Frizzamed!"

Woodward and Bernstein, Dynamic Duo, Together Again

Bruce Wayne and Richard Graysons' true names revealed

Calif. Boy Weaves a Perfect Spell

Damn Wiccan Hippies...

Powder in parliament package

Parliament powders it's package so it doesn't chafe

Red tide continues spread down New England coast

Blue tide demands recount

Australians save more than 100 stranded whales

Rosie, and more than 99 others on food-tour bus thank Aussies for bringing gasoline

Doctors Successfully Separate Legs of 'Mermaid Baby'

They Give Her a Bath After Surgery, and She Grows a Fish Tail Again

Montana T-rex skeleton yields clues to dinosaur anatomy

They were huge, and had big, sharp teeth

That's one small snip for mankind . . .

Kerry has a vasectomy

‘Trust’ Hormone Identified

Hillary wants the secret to further her political career, Bill wants it for "undisclosed purposes"

Syria Test-Fires Scud Missiles

Finds that they are still as accurate as they were when built in the 50's by the Russians

For Some, a Return Home; for Others, No Home to Go To

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. and sometimes is held by Vegas until you can pay.

CDC Chief Backs Away From Report On Obesity

Was Too Fat to Sit at Table Where Report Was Placed

Aircraft Noise may Affect Children's Learning

WHAT????

China dissatisfied with new trade limits

Wants to keep bombarding US with even more cheap, poorly-made goods

Fossilized T. rex was young female, scientists believe

Are still not sure, since most scientists have not seen a young female after they made their career choice


well, on that note, i'm outta here!

as always, the comments are there to be used, but not abused.

thanks!

Extra Bummer to the Bummer Day

got up this morning, bright and nasty early, (remember i'm an insomniac that works the night shift in a restaurant) and went to the parts store to get a new battery.

50 bucks. got 4 bucks back with the trade-in.

Guy in the parts store told me to bring the truck by the store after i put the new battery in to test the alternator, and see if that might be the root of the problem.

one thing before the story continues...i have known this guy that works at the parts store for many years. he wouldn't try to screw me for parts i didn't need.

anyway, he hooked the doo-hickey up to the battery, measured the output, i started the motor, and he shook his head.

one hundred and sixty-four bucks later, i walked out with a brand-new remanufactured alternator. i'll get 44 bucks back when i bring the core back to the parts store.

i'll put it in tomorrow, or maybe the day after. i already replaced the original alternator about 5 years ago (with help!), was guaranteed for 3 years, and i found that left-handed people like myself are at a disadvantage when trying to repair anything on a small motor that wasn't built more than 30 years ago.

fortunately for me, my step-dad, who is a lot more knowledgeable about mechanics than i am, is right-handed, and can not only get to the one bolt that is necessary to remove the alternator, but has the strength with that right hand to break the bolt loose from the after-effects of the salt air that is a by-product of the beautiful place where i choose to live.

and you might ask, "why would somebody go through all this trouble to fix an ugly, rusty, beat-up little pickup truck that moehawk bought in '99 for 200 bucks?"

well, because it has never stranded me farther than i could walk to my home from, and everything that went wrong with it (besides a clutch rebuild that needed to be done before i bought it ) i could do myself, or at least with the help of a strong right-hand man.

(thanks again, Harold!)

and i have driven the heck out of it, to San Francisco and back for baseball games, to Santa Rosa and back to visit family, and Sacramento and back twice to visit a friend in the hospital that i thought i might never see alive again after a horrible car accident.

that last one, has something to do with my screen name.

maybe i'll tell y'all about it sometime, when i'm ready. (don't worry, it does have a happy ending)

on the way home from the second trip to Sac, the hydraulic clutch slave cylinder went south on me, but the faithful little truck got me home in 3rd and 4th gear, stop signs be damned, and me, the chef (not a mechanic, but also not a dipsh*t), was able to replace the broken part once i got home. only took me 7 hours...most of that time was trying to loosen a connection in the hydraulic system that just wouldn't let go....

so, anyways, a truck that has been that good to me (especially for 200 bucks 6 years ago) that needs a new battery and alternator, i'll pay the money, do the work and give kudos to the right-handed folks that help me, and drive that little ugly beat-up truck until it dies.

and when it does finally die, i will mourn. not as i would mourn a flesh-and-blood friend, but i will judge all other pickups in the future against the standard that my little truck created.